My Relationships & the Lessons Learnt...

*This post will constantly be updated with the latest information...
 
I have had my life busted and my mind and spirit raped before I learnt what I have tried to summarize here... Just pray and hope none of you go through what I have, to learn what I have.

I have even made my own share of mistakes and unintentionally hurt a few souls in the process of trying to escape from the pain of everything that I found lacking in my past relationships with them (Hope the ones I have unintentionally hurt in the process, could find a way to forgive me).

I would like to thank the many kind souls who have shared the happy and painful experiences of their love life with me and from who I have learnt a lot of additional lessons.

1. Just because 'n' relationships (Friendship or Love) in your life failed, it does not mean the 'n'th should fail.
2. Never confuse attraction, infatuation, sympathy, empathy, great friendship, or a great physical relationship with love. Confusions generally occur when people commit physical, mental or spiritual violations.
3. Love between Soulmates is very different.
4. A relationship that is plagued with lies, is a lie and dies because of lies.
   
5. Never trust anyone blindly, you never know when you get "Back-Stabbed".
6. People who love you only because you love them, are not in love. They are just people who claim that they love you, because of what they benefit (physically, mentally or spiritually) from your love. A person who loves you irrespective of whether or not you love that person, is truly in love with you and is a person worth dying for. 
7. Because of the way everyone has their own definitions of Friendship, Love etc. Always confirm the meaning of the expressed words - "I Like You", "I Love You", "I Think We Have A Connection", "You Are My Soulmate", etc...You will be shocked to see the way these sacred words could be made to loose their pure meanings and be perverted by the ones uttering them so as to suit their convenience and hide what they lack in their commitments and feelings towards the one they claim they love and in the the relationship they claim they are involved in. Whats more depressing and shocking is that many don't even understand the seriousness, importance and the related commitments and emotions that are needed before uttering them.
8. If the person who says "I love you" is still able to find a thousand reasons why you both are not compatible or should not be together and is ready to break up at the drop of a hat then he/she is definitely not in love with you.
9. If a person who says that he/she loves you, can leave you tomorrow, its better he/she leave you today, and if that person can leave you today, its best that he/she leave you right now and save you all the pain and heart break of the future.
10. People in true love are never ever confused and can never change their mind about their feelings for the person they love. Never trust a person who is confused and rush into the relationship.
11. You can ignore each others history and past relationships Only As Long As either of your pasts does not effect or come to haunt the present or the future of your relationship, which is possible only when one is completely out of all past Physical, Mental and Spiritual connections, bonding with one's Ex s. So its best you Either know each others history 100% with no lies and no faking (cause the day the truth comes out your relationship will most probably die) Or Ensure that your Past will never creep in to your Present or Future life, Physically, Mentally and Spiritually and also ensure that you Will Never Talk About Nor Be questioned about It, before you start to take the relationship more seriously. Having said that Lets Never forget that You must Never Share Your Past with a person You are not sure about.. 
12. Read between the lines, statements like "I Need You", "I Cant Live Without You" can turn out to mean things totally different from what you might imagine.
13. Unfortunately it is not always true that one can judge a person by the blog he/she writes, books he/she reads, the songs they love and deeply understand, movies they watch and claim are close to their heart. Cause in real life they may never understand the true meanings, concepts, principles, philosophies in them, forget being able to implement them in their own life. Many use these mediums to impress the other, they hint of the depth of love, seriousness of commitment and the quality of the relationship they believe in and directly or indirectly hint (intentionally or unintentionally) of giving or sometimes even promise giving the same to the one being impressed. They thus unfortunately create a pseudo image of themselves and end up getting inescapably trapped in it. They are unable to match up to that image and end up looking like frauds and liars.
14. You can love/marry a good person who does not love you and still be happy but you can never be even at peace, forget being even little happy, if you ended up loving/marrying a bad person especially if that person doesn't love you.
15. To minimize communication gaps, misunderstandings and accidental triggering of violent reactions -  Always communicate (especially sensitive information and emotions) with your loved one in person Face to Face. If the topic is sensitive, make sure you both are alone and undisturbed in a secluded place (make sure it is comfortable for the both of you) which is silent (prefer a sound proof room, if you cant meet in an open crowd free place) and a non stressful place, AVOID USING Phones, Mobiles, SMSs, Email, Postal Mail etc.
16. Never involve a "Third Party" no matter how trustworthy or close they might be as a mediator or middleman for communication between you both.

Nightmares of working in a Private Organization...

I am so glad I am no longer working in a Typical "Lala" run Private Organization...

My collective previous experiences are more a nightmare that include:

• Not Given Salary committed on joining. Worse made to work n times more than I was paid.
• Dummy position : Was Given position verbally so as to hide all proof of the work given to me, so that they didnt need to pay me the salary of Team Leader/Project Manager/Software Architect/Analyst. No Visiting Cards made for me. No powers to exercise or make crucial decisions, ONLY TIME WHEN I WAS REMINDED OF MY POST WAS WHEN ADDITIONAL WORK WAS TO BE DONE...
• Forced to work over time... Even on Second Saturdays & some Sundays with the reason that the project was an Important and Urgent One (Interestingly all the projects I ever did were important and urgent). 
• I was Expected to have no social or family life even if the Bosses could not stay a day without being without their family and friends.
• No concept and respect for Central Gov Holidays, CANNOT GET A Holiday on Important Central Hindu & Muslim Religious Festivals like Eid saying that I was a Christian and Muslims & Hindus were not given holiday on Good Friday or even Christmas.
• Impossible to Get leaves even for genuine reasons.
• Salary was decided not on my skill sets and the amount of work I did it was decided based on a loose estimation of my monthly expenses, financial background, whether I was single or married and BASED ON HOW MUCH THEY THOUGHT WAS ENOUGH FOR ME TO SURVIVE. When I started Earning a lot of Incentives because of working very hard, My salary would not be raised when supposed to, and they finally even reduced the amount of my Incentives in comparison to others because they thought I was earning too much... CAN YOU BEAT THAT?
• Salary paid only after the 7th of the month. forcing me to have to borrow money from others every month to clear all bills that needed to be paid before the 7th.
• My expenses involved in having to travel to office and Client Site were always a night mare to settle, with thousands of questions asked and bills and tickets to be handed over like I was at a Police Station,
• I was expected to travel in the cheapest of transportation stay in the cheapest of accommodations even though i as so called "Project Manager/Team Leader". 
• The expensive OUTSIDE food consumed during these Journeys were expected to be paid out of my own pocket AS THEY SAID THAT WOULD YOU NOT EAT IF YOU WERE AT HOME???
• The fact that I was at the Client Site in some god forsaken location away from my family and friends and the comfort of my house was never  considered SAYING THAT I WAS WORKING ONLY THE SAME AMOUNT OF HOURS AS THE OFFICE HOURS...
• One of the Companies, Abruptly shutdown leaving me jobless and running from pillar to post for another one.
• Was under the constant threat of being replaced by a cheaper alternative (A Fresher).
• I was a One Man Army and Made to do work that I was not employed for Though I was employed as a Software Project Manager, I was expected to do Programing, Maintain the SOHO Network, do Hardware assembly and repair, Software installation, Virus Removal, Graphics designing, Marketing, Tech Support and everything that they came to know that I knew, without paying a single penny for my work...

ANYWAY WHEN I COULDN'T TAKE THEIR EXPLOITATION ANY MORE I QUIT... AND NEVER WENT BACK NO MATTER HOW MUCH THEY BEGGED OF ME TO JOIN BACK...

I promised my self never to let anyone working for me to ever undergo the same... That is why today even if it a servant, carpenter or a painter I always made full payments (they were fully satisfied with) on time and sometimes even before time....